The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto - by Brene Brown
As a parent, my deepest desire is to create a space where my child feels unconditionally loved, accepted, and seen. Brené Brown’s work has had a profound impact on me and how I approach parenting, especially her Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto. It reminds me that my role is not about being perfect, but about showing up authentically for my child. Through her words, I’ve learned that it is a gift to embrace my imperfections and teach my child that they are worthy of love and belonging, just as they are.
Like Brené, I believe that parenting is about helping our children develop the courage to be seen, even when it's uncomfortable. I want my child to step into the world with their head held high, to take risks, and to grow by pushing beyond their comfort zone. Life will challenge them—there will be moments of struggle, but as Brené teaches, it’s in these moments of vulnerability that we truly grow. I want my child to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable, to feel unsure or afraid, and that in our family, vulnerability will always be met with love and compassion.
I have often tried to summarise my values and came up with 5 R pillars - respect, reassurance, responsibility, recognition, and resource. Brene’s work touches upon this- being able to instil in my child a sense of self-respect that also allows them to respect the people and the world around them, to reassure them in moments of doubt and create a safe space for others to share, to help them take responsibility for their actions and what is acceptable to receive from other people. At the same time recognising that everyone is different and won’t process how they will. Finally to ensure they look after their own resources - mental and physical health. I’d like to expand on this in the future. They reflect what Brené calls living “wholeheartedly,” teaching our children to embrace who they are with confidence, while also having the strength to navigate the world with kindness and accountability.
One of the most powerful lessons from Brené’s work is that joy comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and to experience life fully—both its light and its dark moments. I want to teach my child how to embrace gratitude, to find happiness in the present, and to laugh, sing, and create with a sense of freedom. Brené emphasises the importance of play and rest, reminding us that life is not just about achieving or striving, but about finding joy in the little moments. I hope my child feels that life with me is filled with love and laughter, but also safety, so they can cry when needed and know I will always be there to hold space for them.
Ultimately, as Brené says, I want to raise my child with a sense of worthiness. I want them to know they are enough just as they are, and that in our home, they will always belong. Even in moments of difficulty, when I make mistakes (and I will), I want my child to see that love and vulnerability can coexist—that it’s okay to be imperfect and I certainly struggle with being vulnerable - which shows that the journey of wholeheartedness goes beyond childhood.
So, while I continue to learn and grow alongside my child, this manifesto serves as a guide, reminding me of the importance of connection, compassion, and joy. It is a powerful expression of the kind of parent I strive to be, and the kind of world I hope to create for my child.
The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto
By Brené Brown
Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions—the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself. I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both. We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.
You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable. Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead, I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.
As you begin your wholehearted journey, the greatest gift I can give you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly. I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.
This manifesto is a reflection of the values I hold close as a parent. It’s a constant reminder that love, courage, and joy are at the centre of what I hope to offer my child—through every mistake, every victory, and every shared moment of vulnerability.
